Saw V, if that isn't one too many already...

Right, Saw V. 5. Five, whatever the fuck, it's just a numeral, though a bit of continuity would be nice. A film slated by the critics, by friends, even by my own Father god love him. But ya know what? I liked it. A fair amount too.

The film starts with the usual, the end of the last film, which is useful because i never did watch Saw IV as much i ever intended to. But before all is explained properly a dude gets chopped in half by a fucking giant pendulum with fucking blades attached. FUCKIN' A. The dude even crushes his own hands cos a man tells him to, in a pair of pneumatic presses. Blood and horrific gore ensue, exactly how every film should start.

I won't go into too much detail, but suffice to say that the rest of the film was in a similar suit. Nail bombs, massive voltage baths and bloodletting with arms in holes containing one too many circular saw blades are all in there, and i loved it. Bloodspray, limb and whole freakin' body removals are just awesome if done properly, and add those onto a smart (although tremendously obvious) storyline and you got a film i wildly enjoy.

Right, the story... There isn't much of one. But when you got a dude half tripping out while sticking an electrically charged hook into a dead bitch in a bath, who the fuck needs a storyline. It all ties into a film i've never seen before, and you know what, i don't give a fuck, i enjoyed watching it and i'd recommend it to any goremonger out there.

Oh, and there was NO love story! Well, sisterly love, but thats allowed because she's dead already. Revenge is fine, love is most certainly not.

Well, i would give this film... 7/10. I'm a really harsh scorer, so thats most definitely a good score. If you're a sick fuck like me, go on, indulge yourself.

A New Hope

I have always found that love can ruin a perfectly good film just with its existence. This has been very much the bane of my film life, and has destroyed pretty much most of the films i like. Lord Of The Rings is barely as great as it could have been if a fair amount of quite irrelevant lovin', and why in hell did there have to be the whole "OMG teh love pulled me from my drugged state LOLZ" thing have to be in Equilibrium? Jeez, pointless. Love is great, but why in EVERY film?

I may also do some games and series' stuff, and take the piss out of current news. Depends really.

Love, ay? Pah. It's for us real people.